Why You Don't Have What You Want

I just ran across a quote that talks about self-sabotage.  Self-sabotage is another term for approach/avoidance, a great term I learned in grad school.  Approach/avoidance happens when we want two opposite things equally.  It’s like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object – what happens is a big fat nothing.  We think the conscious thought, but the unconscious believe cancels out any action.  Or, two conscious thoughts are equally strong. “I want to make six figures this year.”  “I don’t want to have money, I’ll have no excuse not to support my sorry son.”  What happens is, you stew.  And stewing isn’t forward movement.

So, here’s the quote: “If you don’t have what you want — here’s the reason – your subconscious holds some contradictory intentions for you.   To put it simply, you want something and it doesn’t.”  A man named Robert Anthony wrote that.

The quote is both succinct and helpful.  We can get at what our subconscious holds in various ways – through visualization, journaling, and dreaming to name just a few.

Thinking about what we say we want and yet do not have means digging underneath the “top excuses” we offer when things are not as we say we’d like.  What we have at this moment in time is truly what we want – or at least what some very strong part of us wants.  A great exercise in between watching all the bowl games and taking down Christmas decorations is to sit and imagine your best, most perfect life.  What you don’t have?  Well, there’s a part of you that doesn’t want it.  Chew on that for a bit, and see what happens.  There will be realizations, and maybe changes – and more than likely those will help you and your business thrive.