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While most of the small business owners I work with deal with their customers in English, there are many different ways customers use phrases. They speak the language of their surroundings, and often this is different from what you speak. As someone who was born and mostly raised in the South (with a foray into Oklahoma for a short time) I’ve certainly experienced not being able to understand business owners when I’m in New Jersey, for instance. We’re speaking the same language, but we’re not!
I collect terms and phrases from other regions that seem descriptive and unusual to me. And when I work with someone from another part of the country (much less someone overseas) I don’t expect that we will have seamless communication. In fact, one of my current clients taught me a new phrase about a month ago. We were talking about her ideal clients (she is an interior designer who also owns a retail store front). She replied, “I don’t target the dolly decorators.” That stopped me! I had to ask for a description of these prospects before we move forward. In this case, the term “dolly decoration” is industry-specific. Almost any interior designer would know who that refers to.
Of all the phrases I’ve collected, none are more descriptive and endearing to me than the ones I’ve gotten from Appalachia, a region in the American Southeast along the mountains of the same name. Some of their phrases are close to many of the Southern phrases I grew up with, but many are news ones to me. (I’m Southern, but I’m not Appalachian.) Here’s a little glossary of some of my favorites.
- Swimmy-headed – Dizzy, faint
- Dusky dark – Late evening while there is still just a bit of light
- Knee deep – A bullfrog (from the sound it makes)
- Airish – Windy or cool outside
- Cackleberry – A hen’s egg (that one took me a moment to get).
Regional phrases definitely can cost you business. If you had a bodega in New York City, and I walked in looking for flour, I might say “I need flour for cat’s heads.” Would you know what to give me? I’m asking for a self-rising flour to make extra large sized biscuits, which are often called cat’s head biscuits in the South.
Here’s a few tips about using the right language with your customers:
- If it’s someone you don’t know and their accent or phrases are different from yours, repeat the phrase you don’t understand and ask “do you mean……”
- Ask your potential new customer what brought them to your business, and then listen very intently. You’ll be able to pick out key words and phrases, which the person will probably repeat a few times. When you respond, use their exact words back to them instead of the words you might commonly say. Example: A 55 year old woman said to me, “I’ve been in a deep, dark place. My daughter was killed in a car wreck, and I just couldn’t focus on my business for two solid years. I was in a deep, dark place.” When I responded to her, I used her term “deep, dark place” rather than the word “depression.” Repeating the prospect’s language will help you build rapport and trust.
- Remember that even though your accent and phrasing might be different, you are more like the person than you are different. We all have the common bond of wanting to be listened to and understood. Make your best effort to do just that, and you’ll help both your new customer and your small business.
Twitter: jenniferbourn
says:
Sue – You’ve definitely hit the nail on the head with this one! YES! Every person, while speaking the same language “technically,” does bring a completely different level of understanding to it. Your background, environment, perceptions, childhood, etc. all play into how you listen, hear, and understand what others are saying. I’ve never heard some of the phrases you mentioned before – but you’re so right that when working with clients, is vital to use their language in communication as that is what THEY understand!
Jennifer Bourn, Bourn Creative
Transforming Businesses into Extraordinary Brands with Websites That Work When You’re Not Working.
Twitter: TiffanydeSilva
says:
Great tips and a very interesting article, Sue! I especially like tip #3. I live in Ohio now but I’m from the south and my parents grew up in Appalachia, yet I still didn’t understand any of the phrases you mentioned. This reminds of a term we use in social work called “cultural competence.” It basically refers to being able to effectively interact and communicate with people of different cultures. It is so nice to see you discussing this topic, because I doubt most entrepreneurs have given this concept much thought. I think some keys to communicating effectively with others is to stay curious, ask questions when you need to, and appreciate our quirky differences.
Twitter: everywomanovr29
says:
This is great Sue! and big for me being from South Africa and having an accent and my own expressions. I do like this: “Repeating the prospect’s language will help you build rapport and trust.” and your example about depression. Working with anxious and depressed clients I know how there can be a stigma with mental health issues and yes, rather than saying they are depressed many will say things like “deep dark place” or “negative thoughts” or “no motivation” or “critic on my shoulder”.
I also always laugh at an expression a good friend from Canada uses: “I’m anxious to see you” meaning “I’m excited to see you”
Thanks
Trudy
Twitter: getunstuck
says:
Great post, Sue! The one that cost me business when I moved to TN from WI was “I don’t care to” which here means “I don’t mind.” I was talking with a prospective client and when I told her that I was located about an hour and a half away she told me “I don’t care to drive that once a week.” I thought she meant she didn’t want to, so referred her to someone closer. Two hours later I remembered the meaning of “I don’t care to” and after hitting my head against the wall for a few minutes vowed to never forget it!
Linda,
I am laughing out loud because I should have thought to include that one, it is rampant in Appalachia. Even though I am Southern, I had NEVER heard that one either before living in Knoxville, and I had the same reaction. When someone said to me “I don’t care to” I thought “well, how RUDE!” In fact, it does mean “I don’t mind” you are so right. I’ve never run into this phrase anywhere else.
Sue
Twitter: writeoncreative
says:
Sue,
As you know, I love words. Great article. It is important to understand that people create their own realities and the phrases they use, the way they communicate is a BIG part of that.
Write on!~
Lisa Manyon
Hi Lisa,
Yes, I do know you love words. And you’re great with them, too. Thanks for chiming in.
Sue
Great information Sue! I’m amazed sometimes at how difficult it can be to have seamless communication with anyone, let alone when there is a regional dialect issue. I love to talk to folks, but I have to remind myself that talking and effective communication are not one and the same thing! When I was younger I would get frustrated with peoples (usually employees) inability to understand what I wanted. Over time I’ve come to understand that I wasn’t taking the time or making sufficient effort to communicate clearly with them.
Hi Jeff,
I honestly wonder if there IS such a thing as seamless communication. And as entrepreneurs, we do move fast, and tend to believe that others “get” where we are going intuitively (because we do). As you learned, not true.
Sue