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What is that deep, fervent, emotional one thing that you really, really want in your life? Just name it – and then take a step toward it.
You know what that one thing is. If you’re working to build a business, but really what you most want is to be married and a stay-at-home mom, then you’re working toward the wrong thing, not the one thing. Your energy is at cross-purposes, and you’ll sabotage yourself as you “work” toward building a business. Why? Because, it’s not your one thing. It’s what you think you have to do, or maybe what someone else has told you that you must do, or perhaps what someone else darn well expects you to do. But energetically, you just won’t be aligned with doing it. So you’ll unconsciously find excuses to drag things out, feel tired when you are supposed to be working on it, find yourself taking far too long to make decisions. Those are the symptoms of not spending your time and energy working on your one thing.
A few years ago I quit doing what is called “accountability” coaching. When you need someone else to keep you accountable for what you should be doing, that’s a sure sign you’re not working on the one thing. You fail to perform, then hire someone else to hassle you every week so that you will get done what you’re supposed to do. Are you serious? I don’t want any part of that – that awful, dragging feeling when someone is working at cross purposes to their one thing.
I want to work with people who know their one thing and want all my ideas, expertise, brainpower, and encouragement to go for it. If that’s you, it makes me happy to work with you. I sure don’t want to keep your “to-do” list for you and then listen to why only half of it happened in any given week. Yuck!
As we say in the South “let me tell you, honey.” If you’re working on your one thing you don’t need accountability coaching. You need encouragement, ideas, someone wise to bounce things off of, someone aligned with you and your one thing. You won’t be offering up excuses as to what you didn’t get done. You’ll wake up fired up and ready to go because you are creating your one true thing.
Here’s my best suggestion for you. In this busiest of seasons, find a quiet little corner and whisper to yourself “What do I really, really want my life to be? What’s my one thing?” And then, start cutting out what doesn’t support that, step at a time. Make a vision board of your one thing. Talk about your one thing. Let people know (people like to help when you are clear enough, by the way). Give yourself the best present ever this holiday season. Give yourself the gift of naming and owning your one true thing.
Twitter: TiffanydeSilva
says:
I always love your “tell-it-like-it-is” posts, Sue. I’ve never heard anyone describe accountablility coaching as “hiring someone else to hassle you every week so that you will get done what you’re supposed to do” but you are so right! Life’s too short to spend it on things you have to torture yourself to do.
Sue
Twitter: resultscoach
says:
Great article Sue and certainly something I will be pondering over the New Year weekend. Gave me food for thought.
I agree about accountability coaching. If that’s what someone wants to hire me for they are not my ideal client. They have to want to grow, take action and do what’s necessary without me holding their hand.
Happy New Year.
Blessings
Hazel
Hazel,
Glad to give you food for thought! Happy New Year to you, too.
Sue P.
Twitter: SavvyBizBuilder
says:
Sue,
This is a great post to end and start the year with. Find the one thing and F.O.C.U.S. – Following One Course Until Successful. Its that simple! BTW, Now that I know what it means…I’m will Bill the second worst thing you can hear in the South. The first is “Well, bless your heart!” LOL
Tonya,
You are correct, bless your heart is about the worst you can hear in the South.
Sue
Twitter: mitchtublin
says:
Sue,
Agree completely. In fact, checking in each month with your described method is a good idea as well.
Yes, asking yourself about your one thing often will keep you on course, Mitch.
This is a fantastic article! Insightful and “spot-on”
.
Thanks, Sherie.
Sue
Twitter: uqpower
says:
OOOh this will be a question for myself during my reflection time on Jan 1 – what is my one thing?
Love it!
Heidi,
Be sure to let me know – you are so multi-talented.
Sue
Twitter: everywomanovr29
says:
Awesome awesome awesome! I know my one thing but don’t have a vision board and am starting one this very day!
I am so on board with the accountability thing with my clients too – they have to want to make changes and really really want to feel on top of the world again – so pushing from me
Thanks Sue!
Trudy,
I’ll look forward to seeing your vision board when it’s all done. Glad you get it about the accountability coaching, too!
Sue
Twitter: MarketingMel
says:
Thank you Sue. I like your tip on concentrating on one thing. I know you are well equipped to help others fulfill their vision.
Mary Ellen,
Thanks for the compliment – I hope always to help people live to their vision.
Sue