Dreaming Up Your Best Life
April 28, 2010
Can You Really Describe Your Ultimate Target Market?
February 7, 2010
One of the real “rookie” mistakes made by new entrepreneurs is to completely fail to know her target market. This is something that is very easy to spot. A few of the signs are:
- Her business is not thriving, meaning she needs more customers and she is not financially successful.
- When asked who she works with, she replies “Oh, I work with just about anyone.”
- If asked to thoroughly and completely describe her target market, she is flustered and can’t give more than a sentence.
The “Oh, I work with just about anyone” response is one I’ve heard from both new and not-so-new entrepreneurs many times. So many times, in fact, that it now drives me a little nuts. When someone says that, they are setting no boundaries for who they work with, which is a deadly thing. Let me ask the “just about anyone” entrepreneurs these questions:
1. Does it matter to you if a customer stiffs you?
2. Are you open 24/7?
3. If you were, for instance, a seller of curtains and blinds, would you drive 400 miles to sell a set of blinds to someone?
Of course, the answer to each of these is almost always NO! And that’s a good, thing, because that entrepreneur has just started on a path of better describing her target market. Her target market are people who have the money to pay for her products or services, she works with those who contact her during specific days and hours of business, and she has a limited geographical area in which to sell her blinds. This isn’t a complete description of her target market, but it is a start.
You can picture the creation of your target market as setting fences and gates around a specific group of people with whom you really want to work. You might not be as blatantly obvious about it as the gatekeepers are at hot night clubs, where one must stand outside on the sidewalk and get personally picked to go inside, but that is one very good example of a business who is very picky about who they want to serve.
I’ve learned about finding your niche and describing your target market from 3 or 4 of my coaches and mentors, but the one who made me work the hardest to describe my market, hands down, was Suzanne Falter-Barnes. She has a very long list of questions that one must answer to get through one of her platform building classes. The first time I saw that fat list of questions I just about fainted. In fact, the document she proposed I fill out to describe my market was 17 pages long! Still, Suzanne knows her stuff and I was there to learn, so I plowed into the questions. At the end, I felt like I’d invented something akin to a kid’s secret playmate. I started getting actual pictures of how my target market person looked, how she dressed, what she spent her money on, and more. I got so familiar with her in that 17 pages of ruthless questioning that I decided I knew her well enough to name her, for Pete’s sake! And that is what I strongly suggest you do, too.
My suggestion is to sit down with your computer or a piece of paper and describe a “sample” person from your target market as if she (or he) is a character in a book you are writing, and it’s up to you to fill your reader’s head with a detailed, specific, colorful image of the character you are writing about. Describe age, education, the kind of work she does, where she lives, her likes and dislikes – anything you can think of that will add to the picture in your head. This may lead you to dig around on the web for demographic or other information.
Spend quality time here, for it pays off in the end. Ask yourself (with pen and paper or keyboard nearby) “who is the most perfect customer for me?” If you have a hard time doing that, prime the pump by listing the characteristics of your most favorite or best customer so far. From there, dream on. Who would be delightful to work with? Who would you dread working with? What characteristics drive you crazy? Who have you worked with who bugs you so much you hope she never calls you again? You get the picture – and that’s whole point. For here is a secret about financially successful entrepreneurs:
Those who describe and visualize their target market well have started the process of manifesting exactly that type of customer for themselves. You now have a vision of who you want to attract, in detail. Put that right on your business vision board and keep it in your mind’s eye, for who you focus on tends to come your way.
Having this vision and description on hand also makes it easier to walk away from business that isn’t right for you, doesn’t truly interest you, and has a downside to it. (The downside being that while you are spending time with uninteresting client A, you cannot very well be also working with or running into very interesting and exciting client B. This is called “opportunity cost.”) Realize that it actually COSTS YOU to work with the wrong customer, for you are giving up the opportunity to work with who is just right for you.
Taking the time to dream up your ideal target market person makes finding that type of person much easier. You now know where to focus your efforts. If you are spending a lot of time and money networking in a group of direct marketers, and these are not your target market, it’s time to make a change. Pull your time and money from the wrong group, and go find the right group. You’ll find more and better business in the new group and waste less of your precious time.
When you are creating marketing plans, writing sales copy, or pulling together a presentation you’ll be able to keep your secret target market person right with you, writing to them. There will be less agony over creating these things.
And finally, when you have the opportunity to build a relationship with a potential customer, you will be much more at ease because, after all, you will pretty much feel as if you know that person in a way. You’ll be confident that you’ve spent time with someone who has a much higher chance of needing what you offer. This will shorten your sales cycle and make you more money faster. I don’t know of any entrepreneur who doesn’t want that!
So, get that blank paper or computer screen and get going. Breath some life into your target market, and you’ll breath new life into your business, as well. It’s a win-win for every entrepreneur.
(c) Sue Painter
How To Set A Goal And Make It Stick
January 30, 2010
When I speak, I often engage the audience, working interactively. Why? Because I know that the more we engage all our senses (not just our ears) when we hear new material, the more it helps us to anchor that new material within us. I also know that anchored information will more likely be used when we return to our offices. Instructional designers call this “transfer of training.” Proving that what we teach is actually taken and used in someone’s work is the holy grail of professional training.
When you decide to set a new goal for yourself, how do you do it? Do you sit down and make a list? Do you write out an affirmation? Do you simply think to yourself one day while you’re in the car “I need to do thus-and-such” and set out to do it? Whatever your method, you can have a higher degree of sticking to your new goal if you include as many of your senses as you can to help you along.
There are several ways of doing this, and most of the methods I know work pretty well. One that is popular right now is called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT is often used to change our emotional reaction to a certain situation. For instance, if you get nervous speaking in front of people, you can learn to use EFT to say affirmations and tap yourself on specific points of the body. EFT is nicknamed “tapping” because you actually do tap yourself repeatedly at specific spots as you are saying the sentences you construct about your goal — the change you desire. I’ve used EFT more than once and if it is used consistently, it has worked for me. To learn more about EFT, you can contact my friend Annie Wills, at Full Circle Coaching.
I’m going to give you another way to involve your senses and make your new goal stick, though. It is often called VAK, which stands for Visual/Auditory/Kinesthetic. I like VAK because it is another way to become an embodied entrepreneur. Simply put, that means that you are engaged in your work with your heart, soul, mind AND body – and you are sure to be quite successful if you can achieve that!
So, to set a goal and put the power of VAK behind it, here’s what you do:
- Write your goal down.
- Close your eyes, and ask yourself “what will you see that will let you know you’ve attained your goal?” Even better, you can give this question and the following ones to a friend and ask them to walk you through this and answer to her, out loud. Take a breath or two, and see what pictures you get, what you’ll see when your goal is met. You will probably get more than one vision. Open your eyes, and write each of them down.
- Again, close your eyes and ask yourself “what will people say to you once you’ve reached the goal?” After you’ve recorded your answer (or had your friend record it for you), try asking yourself “what will people say about you once you’ve reached your goal?” And finally, ask what you would say to yourself when your goal is reached. Record your answers, or have your friend do it for you.
- (This is my favorite part!) Now, close your eyes again. Ask yourself how you will feel when you’ve reached this new goal. Really take some time to let this sink in, and see what feelings arise in you. Once you have a good strong feeling going, ask yourself about the color, shape, texture, and even the temperature of that feeling. Finally, ask yourself where the feeling is located in your body. Record all your answers. Don’t rush yourself, give yourself time to really get into the feeling of reaching this goal.
- Finally, ask yourself what belief you could state about yourself that will help you get this goal. For instance, if you want to lose weight but always snack at night, could you create a belief about yourself that you are able to easily turn your attention from eating after 8:00 PM? Work on this replacing your current belief that it is “impossible not to eat” or “I must eat because I get too fatigued, too bored, or too scared not to eat at night.” In other words, replace your negative self-talk with a positive belief in yourself as someone who is capable of doing what you want to do.
- Be sure to ask yourself if you foresee any reason NOT to reach this goal. If you secretly think that being thinner will be bad in some way you will not reach your goal until you have put that belief to bed. We almost always have a secret reason that we don’t want to do what we say we want to do. I say I want to improve my auditory Spanish skills, but secretly I don’t want to put in the extra half hour a day to do that. So, of course, I don’t! Bring your secret reasons up into your consciousness, and you’ll go a long way to helping yourself get that goal.
The point here is to create a framework around you that helps support you in all your senses. If you have a goal to grow a rose garden, you can close your eyes and envision the layout, the sunshine, the colors, and the smells for sure. The more you can embody your goals, the more you’ll be able to make it stick. Let me know how it works for you.
Is It Time To Tear Your Business Apart?
December 17, 2009
Change is uncomfortable and scary for most of us. Although we have varying levels of tolerance to change and risk, all of us have 
some point where we avoid these things. I’ve been a risk taker most of my life – I love exploration and adventure, and I know that my willingness to try new things, or do old things in a new way, has brought me much delight and success.
Still, like everyone else, I have my limits. So it was with a great deal of fear, dread, trepidation and tears that I let Bill drive me to a hospital early Monday morning, where in a few short hours my left knee would be amputated out of my leg, and if things went well a new knee would be put in. There was a chance that my knee was so injured that a new knee would not work. So I had to let the haze of anesthesia settled over me, not knowing what I would wake up to. Honestly, this was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life.
Both in business and personal life, there comes time when we need to tear things apart, blow things up, be destructive. And the truth is that we do not know what the outcome will be at these times. What we do know is that the current situation and the road we are on is not working. Plain and simple, we need to stop.
I’ve put together a road map that will help you to know when it’s time to tear things apart, and how best to prepare for it. Here are some of the rules of the road we are on that simply won’t take us where we want to go.
- We tend to fear completely deconstructing things so much that we stay on the wrong road far too long.
- The longer we stay on the wrong road, the more we lessen our chances of a good outcome once we’ve finally torn things up.
- We spend too much time, energy, and resources trying to make the road we’ve been on work. We make ridiculous accommodations that do not serve us, and we engage in more wishful and magical thinking. Denial gains super-sized strength from our fears.
- We assign fear to those around us, assuming they will dislike what will happen when things are torn completely apart, and using that as an excuse for keeping ourselves on the wrong road.
In both our personal and business worlds, however, we can ruin ourselves and our opportunities to have what we desire by refusing the “blow it up, tear it up, deconstruct it” path. Our secret ambitions or dreams for ourselves languish. The outward signs of “living wrong” can include anger, bitterness, depression, constant excuses, wishful thinking (if only), blame, totally buying in to beliefs and stories we tell ourselves about why we can’t do something, being cynical, jealousy, and dishonesty with ourselves and others. Ugh!
No matter what “it” is, force yourself to have the curiosity and honesty to consider what might happen after deconstructing what you have right now. Don’t just list the “bad” things you immediately think about. List all the possibilities you can think of, too. Energy follows thought, so keep yourself on the possibility side of the list as much as you can. Rule number one? You don’t have enough foresight and knowledge to deconstruct something alone. Get help, give it time and attention, and move through the steps without continuing to tell yourself how scary or wrong it is once you’ve made up your mind.
- Consider the alternatives with at least three people.
- Find the very best people to help you.
- Make sure you like the way they approach things and their energy.
- Enroll your significant others – friends, business partners, family members, support staff.
- Ask these people to tell you their own fears about the deconstruction. This helps clear the air and prevent sabotage.
- Set up a timetable for when you will end the old and what all the steps are for the new.
- Make it as easy as you can on yourself. Clear the calendar of other demands. Whatever else you do, hire it done or stop it for a few days. Maybe you get someone to shop, cook, and clean for a few weeks so that’s totally off your mind.
- Gather up your courage, quit listening to the “backtalk” from yourself and others, and take one step.
- Keep going through your steps with determination, even when you begin to doubt or run into an unexpected hurdle.
- Remind yourself that what you have been doing DOES NOT WORK and that you are now creating a new order of things. You are not reaching for perfection, you’re reaching toward a solution that will actually get you what you want.
- Be honest to yourself and others when you have “doubt days” – get it out of yourself to prevent self-sabotage.
- Once a day, look at the big picture. Remind yourself that the road you have been on DOES NOT WORK. Give yourself credit for each step along the way.
- Work diligently on the new road. Don’t go back and wonder if you’ve done the right thing. Whatever you are doing, it’s probably more right than the wrong thing you were doing.
As I write this, I’m in a rehab hospital learning how to use my new knee. Yes, I did get one! It’s been painful and hard, and it’s easy to fall into doubt that I’ll ever get the pain to stop or that I will be able to bend my knee very well. Like everyone else who goes through this, I’ve had my few days of “hitting the wall” and wondering why in the world I ever did this to myself. But my surgeon is expert at his craft and at reminding me where this can take me. My teachers and friends remind me of the truth about how things were just a short week ago. My new “knee friends” share every setback and success with me over meals and in the hallways. And the hospital staff support me completely, from helping me get a shower to making sure my pain medications are delivered right on time. I’m off the road that was getting me nowhere, and would have never gotten me where I want to go. This road is “more right” than the road I was on.
No matter how big it is in your business or personal life, have the courage to say aloud “this road is over.” You might find out that tearing something up is actually the way to create what you’ve always wanted.
(c) Sue Painter
When Dreams Come True
January 14, 2009
There’s a lot in the workshop world these days about abundance and visioning. It isn’t something really new, as teenagers many of us made collages of things we loved. But there’s a lot more talk these days about the importance of visioning – the importance of looking deeply into ourselves, having the courage to write about and picture what we secretly most want. I’ve decided to share my story about dreams coming true, on the theory that it just might help someone else who is doubting that they can have what they want.
About 13 years ago now I became a member of a Quest group. One of the first things the group’s leader had us do was to answer, in writing, a series of questions about our clearest vision of our life – how we would be living it in the coming years, what would feel the most satisfying and truest life for each of us, how our relationships would be, what our work would look like. When I got this set of questions and was told to write an essay about them I was working in a very high-powered, high-stress position. I was not happy doing it, but the money was very good and I had made the decision to do this work for a while so that my husband and I could buy lake property and build a house. I worked 60 to 80 hours a week, travelled all the time, and managed a large group of people. While I was very successful, I was also very exhausted. So, to get this long writing assignment thrown into the mix didn’t make me very happy. I was stressed out, pissed off at working so hard, and already lugging around a bulging briefcase as I flew back and forth to D.C. I really DIDN’T want to spend time answering these questions.
So, in my best “I really don’t agree with doing this” manner, I answered – truthfully but also in a peeved tone. I started the essay by saying that “I had no idea how I would ever get there, but what I really wanted was” — and I held forth for three solid, single spaced typed pages. I folded it up, took it to the next group meeting, and read it aloud, unsmiling, when my turn came. Then, I efficiently folded it into thirds, popped it into the back of my daily planner, and promptly forgot it was there.
Fast forward 10 years later. The exhausting job was long gone. I was home one day, bored, and decided to clean out my now-defunct daily planner (I was on computer now!). I thought the planner was empty, and before throwing it into the trash I held it by the spine and shook it hard. And, out from the last, back, hard to reach pocket fell that 3 typed pages that I had long ago forgotten. I wondered what it was, and opened it up – and to my absolute and total amazement I read three pages of “what I really wanted” – and, point by point, every single one of my wants had come true! It was and is crazy, unbelievable, ridiculous. I sat there next to the trash can, holding what was my most precious possession – my vision for myself, my life on a page, my deepest heart’s desires. And I realized in that moment how wise and special the leader of our little Quest group was. How indebted to him I was. How grateful, fortunate, and lucky I was to have secretly carried my dreams with me for all those years, and how writing them and speaking them aloud to that group had taught me that energy follows thought.
Yes, dreams do come true. And as they do, we add more dreams. There is always forward movement until the moment we give up, and begin to die. One of the reasons I so believe in and support people in visioning is the lesson I learned myself – the one that took me a decade to learn. My small group Visioning fron the Heart workshops are my own way of helping others to Quest now. And my sincere belief is that the same dream coming true will happen to you.
(Credits: With many thanks to my friend BJ Ryan for the use of her painting “Sunset in the Desert.”)
The Courage to Create Something New
October 22, 2008
It’s time to envision what we want to manifest for the coming year. Late October is good for planning, before the rush of the holidays, before the New Year is here. Creating what one wants in the coming year requires courage, letting go, and clear vision.
- It’s an act of courage to consider closely your current life and work, asking yourself what is working well and what no longer feels right. It’s much easier not to look, to go along in the path one has already created, staying in the comfort zone. The downside of the comfort zone is that it doesn’t create much in the way of forward movement – it’s more like marking time, marching along in place. Over time, vague feelings of dissatisfaction or longing may arise, telling us it is time to sit and feel our way into the future. If we put aside these feelings, they will most usually lurk inside of us, gathering strength and coming out in stronger ways – anger, illness, self-sabotage. On the other hand, if we allow and even encourage these feelings, they can be helpful messengers, giving us strong clues about what we need to change or let go of in both our personal and professional lives.
- Letting go is an act of courage, too. Get this: for the new work to succeed, what is not working must end. Trying to create something new while at the same time expending the same level of time and energy to keep up the old will end in failure every single time. It is a subtle form of self-sabotage. It gives us the message that we are not quite committed to the new, want to hedge our bets by hanging on to the old while we see if the new will work. This is a costly and unwise action. It perpetrates a lack of total commitment to what we want to create, making manifestation of the new much harder than it needs to be. It keeps alive self-doubt, a surefire way to fail. Manifestation is nothing more than full commitment to what you envision. If you let go and step forward, you set in motion the energy that supports you in creating what you want.
- Clear vision, a vision that has energy and good vibe, will sustain us when things seem blocked. Clear vision comes from taking time for ourselves, creating the quiet, unfettered space to ask what is working and what is not, what we have not yet done in life that we really truly have a deep desire to accomplish, what are stuck places in our personal lives. Clear vision creates an energy of allowing things to happen that take us where we want to go. We create this vision by stating dreams and desires, leaving aside the many “yes, but” statements or the reasons why we cannot do what we see. Clear vision is freeing, not clinging. Clear vision holds the best for one’s heart and mind. It isn’t hampered by what others think or want us to do. It feels unburdened.
Here are five questions that I use when I do personal retreats with my clients. Set aside some October time and find your own courage to create something new for the upcoming year.
- What secret hope or dream do you have that hasn’t yet seen the light?
- What tasks are on your plate that you really dread to do?
- What one thing would you take off your calendar if you could?
- What one thing needs to change in your personal life – just pick one thing from the laundry list in your mind.
- Are you willing to block off time for something new next year?
Answer these five questions and see what new vision arises. See how your energy feels. You may just find that you have found the courage and clear vision to let go, creating and manifesting something new.
The Marriage of Vision and Success
October 5, 2008
Right now I’m in California at the International Living’s Live and Invest Overseas conference. Meeting the
250+ people here has reminded me of the relationship of vision to success. The people here fall into three categories:
- Those who dream about living offshore, read about it, but never make a plan.
- Those who are here and have a zillion questions, wanting to make an international move with absolutely no surprises and insure their success ahead of time.
- Those who have, in writing, their criteria for selecting a new country in which to live, have made several trips to check out potential locations, and have created a written budget of what they can afford and how they will live.
As you might imagine, the latter group will be the ones who actually act, who will achieve the goal of trying another country as their home. Why? They have done the work of honing their vision, and that solid vision gives them confidence to act and succeed.
It’s the very same with us as entrepreneurs and business owners. We know what we want to walk away from, but we have not taken on the thoughtful and sometimes tough work of thinking and feeling through to what we want to walk toward. We dream, and share our dreams with others over coffee, but we do not dig in. The more I work with entrepreneurs and home-based business owners the more I find that the unsuccessful ones are half-in, half-out. They have a vague idea of “something different” but their vision isn’t clear. They have not dug in and done the work of taking their current discomfort and vague dreams of something difference into a lively vision. And consequently, they take no actions, or their actions lack focus and energy.
Without taking our dreams into vision we do not bring about success. Working with our dreams and creating a heart-felt, written vision will spin our energy toward action, and action drives success. I sure have seen many examples of this as I meet the conference attendees here. Specific actions work best when married to one’s vision. And vision is more than a vague dream – it is the flesh we put on the bones of a dream.
Here’s to taking dreams into vision, and vision into success!
Sue P.