This week I was asked to look at the business activities of someone who has been working to establish her own business but has felt a lack of confidence in knowing which direction to go in. This woman sees herself as being “slapped down” by the past few years. In short order she lost a good job, got into financial difficulties, felt unsure of what to do next, tried a few ideas out, got sidetracked in helping others with their work, and eventually went from a professional service provider to cleaning houses, just to bring any type of money in the door. She saw herself as sadly lacking and unable to recover from the loss of her professional job. She had become embarrassed and ashamed of her situation.
When I read what this person had done from the time she lost her job until today, I saw an entirely different story. I saw someone who had a great work history and professional credentials, an obvious ability to form solid relationships with customers, a hard worker who didn’t give up but was willing to clean houses rather than sit home and whine, and a person who had stopped what she was doing to help another business owner (she actually created a website for the person) not once but twice. Not only that, she had at least two solid, good ideas for her own business and had gone out and gotten clients in one of them. She also had good support from a spouse.
Here are the five things I recommended she focus on.
- She had remained busy and active ever since she lost her job, something many people would not do. She obviously has a great work ethic, but she didn’t use this to bolster her self-esteem.
- She was very successful in her job, which was demanding and required her to build solid relationships with customers, so her people skills are fabulous.
- Even with tentative efforts to start a business, she was able to bring a few customers in the door.
- She was full of good ideas, but she had allowed circumstances and other people’s needs to pull her focus away from actually sitting down and doing a plan for her business, sticking to it faithfully for six months, full time, and seeing what happened.
- She was underselling herself, offering too much for free “to get started” and worrying too much about losing customers who weren’t paying her for the value of her work to begin with (which was her fault, for not setting and sticking to her fees.)
It’s very easy when you are alone and trying to begin a business to lose confidence and focus. Your perspective can sink to the lowest, despite facts to the contrary. No one (other than her spouse) had said to her “you can do this, and you’ve got solid, good ideas.” She needed to hear that from an “outsider” who could help her re-focus and set out a step-by-step plan. She also needed to hear that it was up to her to stop the self-sabotaging thoughts, stop giving her time away to friends who needed it, and stop under-pricing her work.
Losing her job had totally thrown a professional, self-confident woman into a constant self-doubter who was afraid to step out. Yet she had a great business idea and clients coming her way, even with her half-hearted efforts. As we talked, this person said to me, “This is exactly what I’ve needed to hear. I even know some of this myself, I just have lost my hope.” A few days later she commented “I’m still so high with hope after our talk.”
Sometimes just having a sounding board is what small business owners need – someone to help keep their perspective and mindset. I offer “One and Done” time for exactly these types of situations. This woman can’t afford and doesn’t need to work with me on an ongoing basis right now. But what she gained in our time was exactly what she did need to get her back on track. When your self-confidence is low and your perspective foggy, consider a “One and Done.” You can get all the details here.
Found this really interesting, thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Amalie, glad it was helpful.
Sue
Love this case study and love that your gave her hope and showed her that she did have what it takes to succeed! I also really like your One and Done service offering!
Trudy
Thanks, Trudy.
Sue
Sue, you just brilliantly illustrated the beauty of having a coach. Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees, grass, weeds, and everything else. I truly believe that business owners are much more successful when they have the right support systems in place.
Tiffany,
Thanks for the compliment. Yes, sometimes just the outside perspective is all you need.
Sue
Great food for thought Sue – too often in the Western world we look outside of ourselves instead of looking and knowing from within!
Fantastic advice. It is so important to have someone on the “outside” show you what you can’t or may refuse to see. She is lucky to have you. And I love, love the “one and done” idea.
Sue – This is why you’re so successful. You can see right to the “real” truth of what’s going on and get right down to what needs to happen and what needs to / can be done. I love that you offer a multitude of ways to work with you too – She’s lucky to have found you!
Jennifer Bourn, Bourn Creative
I enjoyed this Sue. As a woman business owner, I can relate to the confidence issues that can arise inside our hearts. It’s a big and scary world and it can be difficult to put yourself out there. I appreciated your advice to her!
Great post, Sue! So many gems in it–sometimes we all just need the perspective of another person to help us “see” what the trees in our own forest block us from seeing. Your One and Done program is a great way for people to utilize your services to get that perspective they’ve been missing!
Linda,
Thanks so much for your comment. I know I COUNT ON other people’s perspectives for myself. Glad to see you back at home.
Sue
Sue your “one and done” concept is outstanding. I love it. I’m sure you were of great benefit to this outstanding and hard-working woman who just needed a boost of self confidence.
“One and Done”!! I love it, Sue! What a great service you offer. XOXO, K.
Sue,
I couldn’t agree more. Even family can tell you things that you don’t hear. It sometimes takes someone on the outside to put things in perspective for you.
Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Yes, outside perspective helps.
Sue
Wow Sue – that is so amazingly true!!! I haven’t EVER seen a woman sell herself for her REAL worth! I cannot tell you how many times I had this conversation with friends and family over the last few years (with the immense layoffs during this economy). My sister swore she couldn’t do her own thing and sunk into a deep depression until someone hired her (gave her self worth again) – she is a Certified Public Engineer – I wanted her to start her own business, but she was paralyzed due to the hit she took when she got laid off! It is soooo frustrating though to have someone who doesn’t want to be helped…ugh!
Liz
Liz,
The issue is that we all have a tendency (at least in this culture) of getting our sense of self-worth from outside us, not from within. That is an unending source of discomfort and misery that will never go away until the source of self-worth changes to within.
Sue
Hi Sue–
Great way to provide a different perspective for her! Sometimes people also need to grieve the loss of a job or a situation, and I’m not hearing that she did that. It almost sounds like she kept moving forward so she wouldn’t have to think about it. If you allow yourself the freedom to feel the loss, that also helps you move forward. It worked for me..;)
Hi Donna,
I do agree about the grieving thing – people keep “busy” to avoid that, for sure. And fear drives a person, too, when that sudden stable income is lost. I think it is a combo for most people.
Sue
Great advice, Sue! So often it takes someone looking from the outside in for one to realize how valuable they are, how far they’ve come, AND how far they can go! Great article, Sue!
Great post, Sue. Having an outside sounding board with business coaching is vital to the success of your business. Investing in yourself and truly believe you deserve the investment in invaluable.
Thanks, Lisa!
I enjoyed this article very much and can relate to the woman in question. And as Camara said, isolation is definitely a killer of potential and self-esteem. This is why I always try to spend as much time with other entrepreneurs as possible.
Hi Jennifer,
I agree, spending time with like-minded individuals is key!
Sue
Sue,
I am convinced after just a short period of being in business for myself that isolation is one of the #1 business killers. When we are in our own heads, the story is often quite different from what’s really happening. Sounds like she found you just in time and you worked your magic with her as you’ve done with others.
Great post.
Camara
Hi Camara,
I agree about the isolation, we all need people who have our back.
Sue