One of the challenges of working for yourself is recognizing when you are stuck. Being stuck can happen many ways, but for self-employed people it often looks something like this:
- Your income is level, or perhaps has taken a slight dip.
- You are feeling a lack of enthusiasm toward your work.
- You have one or more big decisions to make, and you find yourself churning them over and over rather than making the decision and then taking action.
If you’ve been self-employed for more than about six months, I can just about guarantee that you’ve experienced at least one of those three stuck places. The danger we run when we’re self-employed is that we don’t have others around us to take up the slack when we’ve backed off. We feel the results of our stuck place faster and deeper than a person who works in a large company, because in a large company someone will either step up or confront you and get you going.
Another problem we have is that we often don’t even realize we’re stuck – we just see the results of being stuck (one of the three above, for example). If you sit at your desk and ask yourself what’s wrong, you’re liable to go around in circles trying to think your way out of your stuck place. It’s exasperating and it doesn’ do much good.
Here’s a better way to start getting at the issues.
- Get a few pieces of paper and get out of your usual work environment – go outside or to a favorite coffee shop.
- Ask yourself “what am I tolerating that I don’t really like?” and write what comes up on your paper. Really take the time to let all the things you are tolerating boil up to your consciousness. You’ll find that it could be little things (my chair really isn’t very comfortable at my desk) to big things (my webmaster is returning my work too slowly to suit me these days). Keep at it until you have at least ten things you are tolerating in your life.
- Pick just one thing off the list, and to the right of it describe the opposite. Using the webmaster example, I might say “my webmaster is enthusiastic about my ideas and comes up with great solutions in just a few days.” Once you describe the opposite, you’ve already come up with what you really want and need. You don’t have to analyze or even think much more about it. You now know what you need.
- Resolve to take action on this one thing. Don’t worry about the rest of your tolerations list right now. Just make the one “opposite” thing happen. If I were going to take an action about my webmaster, for example, my plan would be:
- Talk to my webmaster and tell her how I feel about the turnaround time for my work. Be sure to use the exact words of the “opposite” which, for me, would be “I need a webmaster who is enthusiastic about my ideas and comes up with great solutions in just a few days. Can you do that?”
- If the conversation doesn’t go well, immediately start interviewing other candidates for my webmaster position.
You’ll find that if you focus on and resolve just one toleration, you suddenly will feel more energy and enthusiasm toward your work. You’ll feel great that there’s one less thing to tolerate, and you’ll look forward to the new arrangement. The next thing you know, without even going back to your tolerations list, you will have found the opposite of what you’re tolerating and taken action to get rid of a few more on your list. You are working your way out of being stuck, and taking actions that move yourself and your business in the right direction. And that’s how to get out of being stuck if you are self-employed.
Oh ya – so true. You’ve gotta be willing to take action on one thing fast … it then creates a ripple effect and you find that your other tolerations start righting themselves so much easier.
Sue,
Great tips here. Lose the weight of a toleration or two.
Thank you,
Mitch
Sue,
This is an amazing strategy! So simple, yet I can see how it would be so effective. I’m going to start using this TODAY. Thanks!
~ Carmen
Sue
Super tips and great exercise.
Loved this:
You’ll find that if you focus on and resolve just one toleration, you suddenly will feel more energy and enthusiasm toward your work.
Thanks
Trudy
Getting clear about what we are tolerating opens up the channel for deep insight!
I love this exercise Sue!
Great tip here: Get a few pieces of paper and get out of your usual work environment – go outside or to a favorite coffee shop.
Thanks for the great tips!
Sue,
This is an amazing post and one that we really need to be revisiting on a regular basis since we are either growing or we’re not (and the not growing often doesn’t feel so great…:)
What am I tolerating that is no longer working? My site! i’m off to research a new designer..thank you!
Much love,
Jennifer
Great practical ideas to get unstuck Sue – I particularly like “Pick just one thing off the list, and to the right of it describe the opposite”
Great post
Heidi Alexandra
Sue,
Great strategies to get unstuck. I like the tip of getting outside the office…outside.
Dr. Robert Fenell
Sue,
Great tips to reassess where we are and move past it. Thanks!
Kiyla Fenell
Sue, your post – and wonderful guidance – reminds me of Marcus Buckingham’s approach to stop/reduce/eliminate weakenesses. I especially love the approach of describing the opposite!
Thanks,
Jeff
Sue,
Thanks for the reminder about the “tolerations” exercise. I need to revisit that soon.
Write on!~
Lisa
It is SO true that if you work to resolve just ONE thing you are tolerating, it makes a huge difference. Thanks for the reminder, Sue!
Excellent advice Sue. I think you are right. Everyone who is self-employed hits an occasional snag now and then. This is a good reminder list. Especially love getting out of your environment! The change of scenery really is good.